I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
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I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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