I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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