Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize