I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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