I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
