Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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