Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
