Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize