So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
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i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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