there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize