Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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