This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
