period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
