No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
