am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
