where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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