I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize