hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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