operation harelip BJ is a go
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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