Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize