i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
