apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low