To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
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Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW