I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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