Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize