the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
