I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
