winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize