From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
