I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Couch. On fire.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize