he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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