I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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