Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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