Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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