Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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