i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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