Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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