If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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