chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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