So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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