Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize