You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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