Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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