Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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