we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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