The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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