Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
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She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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