Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again