He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no