Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem