i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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