Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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