Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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